Today, my cat threw up what I thought was a hairball bigger than his own head. Gross enough by itself, but it turns out that it wasn't just a hairball. I was all worried because there was blood and lumpy things in there and I was wondering if a cat can actually puke its own guts out. That was before I became aware of the headless, half-eaten baby bunny in the yard.

We don't have enough paper towels to make that clean-up bearable. Yuck.

Well, back in March, I flew from Barrow to Fairbanks to see Watchmen. I couldn't get a rental car for financial reasons so I got a cab from the hotel and stayed at the theater all day. Considered it time and money well-spent.

So, it really wasn't too much of a stretch to begin my plot to go see the Director's Cut in Minneapolis this weekend. Living where I do, movie tickets are pretty much useless without plane tickets. Spending the summers in rural Appalachia doesn't help.

However, the theater mentioned on the website has no knowledge of the event and no idea where else it might be happening. I harassed two separate employees and the manager for that information. No luck, which is sad. I was looking forward to seeing proplady too. Drat. Despair.

The good news is that instead, I have a baby shower to cater, which would've trumped all plans anyway. Sisters take precedence over fangirliness, no matter how obsessive.

Fic of the Day: Lord of the Rings

Fic of the Day: Watchmen

First one in a month and written with no shift key. Trying to get back in the swing of things. Maybe I'll even draw something before long.

We were watching MST3K’s Werewolf movie the other night, in all its weird haired and weirder accented glory, and in Segment 2, Mike and the bots ask each other who they would put in their own werewolf movie. Well, I took the question to heart and spent way too much time thinking of who I would replace the actors I was looking at with. You would probably have to have seen the movie to have any clue, but if you haven't, just try to imagine it.

Paul: Should be played by Crispin Glover. Oh yeah. He has Fred Cavalli beat for suave, sexy, and intense. He could be all dashing yet sensitive at the party and in his writer’s loft/real estate office, then go all wild-eyed and twitchy when the moon rises. I bet his portrayal would seem more like a transformation than a really painful intestinal condition too.

Natalie: It’s hard to go wrong with Winona Ryder. And I haven’t seen her in anything fun since Alien 4. She could be all cute and easily fascinated, then hustle everybody in the biker bar at pool, then tell off her boss and run through the desert all night. If she can fake an indeterminate accent, all the better!

Yuri: Should be played by Dolph Lundgren. Because he fits the name Yuri better than Jorge Rivero did for one thing. Because he has consistent hair for another. Because he might actually be threatening. Not that Jorge wasn’t buff enough, but he still reminded me of the substitute gym teacher we had for a hellish week in high school. Sadistic, yes, and getting off on his authority over 20+ winded 14 year olds, but not threatening. Seeing Mr. Kikigi beaten up by Dolph Lundgren would’ve made the 9th grade so much sweeter. But I digress.

Noel: Could be played by Graham Greene. Another guy I like to see, be it Thunderheart or the Red Green show, or whatever. Having him instead of Richard Lynch would explain why the team was excavating an Indian burial ground and how he knew all the skin walker legends a little better.

Sam the Keeper: Mark William Calaway. AKA The Undertaker. Because if you’re gonna have a crazy man guarding your foyer with a shotgun, I say go for broke and bring in someone who would have a chance against a werewolf sneaking in after hours. Make that weird scene with the hovering and vague clawing an actual fight, and the coolness factor goes up an easy 10 points. Not that it would take much.

Joel: That can still be Joe Estevez. He did fine.

There were other characters too. The borderline slutty real estate agent, the dig worker that was first infected, the goofy doctor/nurse team that think sprouting random patches of hair and ‘constant transformation’ of the face is something that needs careful observation, and a handful of others, but those are the main ones.

When I went to see Wolverine, I stopped by the bathroom on the way out. Safely hidden away in a stall, I didn't see the girls when they came in, but I sure heard them.

"This is the best idea EVER," one declared and they both cackled. Then one yelped:

"Oh no! My drink spilled in my purse!" They both laughed again. "Now it's gonna smell funny in there...."

"You realize the downside of this?" the other said. "By the time the movie's over, we're gonna be sober again."

Now see, I had thought they were partaking of the time-honored frugality of sneaking your own drinks into the theater. I hadn't realized what kind of drinks. Maybe it was a good idea, but not when you're minors and are howling about it in the bathroom. Booze rarely results in subtlety.

"Not a problem," said the one with the soggy purse. "We can go back to my place and get wasted."

"Just in time for graduation!" they whooped in unison. I heard a high-five noise, and they headed out, still giggling.

In my day, we wore baggy clothes and filled our pockets with the .35 Sam's colas from the Walmart pop machines. Those were simpler times.

I had a weird dream last night. It was like Lackadaisy Cats set in a goofy 80s shoot em up action movie. The part that was weird was that whenever someone died, they turned into a cake.

So we had this whole table set up with different cakes and pastries with name tags so we could tell who had turned into what. The elegant society lady cat had turned into this fancy frosted cake and the plain, hardworking guy had turned into a corn muffin and so on. And as weird as that was, my thought was whether or not we could eat them.

Ok, so the word came out that the director's cut of Watchmen will only be released in 4 cities. I'm fine with that. I flew from Barrow to Fairbanks to see it in theaters when it frst came out after all. Buying plane tickets to get movie tickets is nothing new to me.

And after some fangirl-driven googling, I found a list of said theaters. And I called them. The only trouble is that the people working there didn't know what I was talking about. They have advised me to keep an eye on their websites for ticket information.

SOOO, I'm going to. And if I can get tickets, I'll be shopping for plane tickets next. I'm hoping I can see it in Minneapolis, but there are three other options.

Things are calmer now.

Both girls have started the rabies shots, so even if the poor bat is rabid, they're already safe. It all began yesterday while the rest of the womenfolk, myself included, were at an estate auction. I like to go just to dig through all the stuff. I'm intimidated by auctioneers and I usually don't want anything bad enough to fight with other bidders for it. Not competitive.

But it's fun to go through these 100+ year old houses and see the ancient furnishings and stuff. And this house was amazing. It was built in 1891 and had been in the same family the whole time. It was huge and rambling and full of wood work. I had sort of based the Zephyr homeplace on my own 100+ farmhouse, but I think I can add elements of this one to it. I wish I had taken my camera to get some pictures.

They auctioned off the house too and the auctioneer insisted everyone understand what a privilige it was. It was the first time this house and land had ever been available outside of the Walker family, and it probably never would be again in our lifetime. It was part of Greenbrier River Valley history. And then the bidding started.

When it was all over, a young couple from New Jersey had won and they were ecstatic. They were so happy that everybody cheered and cried for them.

Then we went home, just in time to meet my brother-in-law who was hustling the three year olds into a van because one of them had been bitten by an 'angry bird'. Turns out, an itty bitty bat had gotten into the girls' room and bitten one on her little finger. And since it was Saturday, all the local doctors were closed. So the whole clan mobilized. The rest of the menfolk caught and bagged the bat and we led the way to the hospital ER.

Where we waited. And waited. And saw many impressive tattoos. And heard many horrible ailments announced at the check-in desk. ("Yes, I have a REALLY bad bladder infection and a REALLLLLY need to see somebody about it..." I deliberately stopped listening in case he started to get specific about all the symptoms.) Finally, after about two hours, they let the bitten child go back, and after a few more hours (and a threat from my father to release the captured bat in the waiting room ) she reappeared, bloodied and tearful from seven different injections. And wearing a tutu. In my day, we got suckers.

It was decided that after all this trauma/drama, the time-honored comfort/bonding ritual must take place. (That means it was time to eat again) So, while the clan was remobilizing to the nearest Mexican restaurant, the doctor pointed out what a horrific way to die rabies was and how if there was any chance at all that the other girl had come in contact with the bat, that she needed the shots too. So Twin #2 had to go back and wait. Eventually most of us went home around nightfall as we were taking up waiting room space and the Health Department was closed and wouldn't reopen on the weekend to check our poor bat for rabies.

Mr. "Angry Bird" Bat is still in our freezer, but he had it easy compared to the fate of my poor brothers-in-law who stayed with that wee child all night in ER. And by all night I mean they didn't get seen until 6 am the next morning. How can you make a three year old wait all night for a rabies shot?? They said they had to pull all staff because a patient died, and sensitive soul that I am, my first thought was that a dead patient shouldn't need that much care. I was cranky too, and I got to go home after the first four or so hours.

But things are better now. The twins have to go back for Round #2 of injections in a few more days, and we take Mr. Bat to the Health Department tomorrow. This is a first for us. For all our family shenanigans, we've never had to deal with rabies before. So we can mark that one off the list and move on to hopefully more pleasant adventures.

It's been quite a day.

It began on an estate auction in Pence Springs, and ended in the emergency room.

There was a bat bite. We got there just as the three year old victim was being bundled into the van. The bat is in freezer (we're calling it cryogenic sleep)and the first seven rabies shots has been administered.

Hunh.

I tried to buy a house today. It's cute, a little stone house on a hill with trees all around and a wooded lot in the back. Went in to be approved for the loan and everything. And I was! But the owners changed their mind about lowering the price and even with the loan I can't afford that. So, we'll have to see if they come down again.

In the meantime, we're redoing the living room at my parents' house. We're doing it in beige. There's already been signs of insanity, but we got most of it painted anyway. The wall color is called clam chowder.

Right now? It's too hot to do anything.

Back from the dentist. He has a sense of humor.

"Ok," he said with a grin. "You know the drill."

Sigh. Yes, I do.

I am numb from my chin to my eyeball. Feels like that half of my face is hanging off my skull. I've never had a numb nostril or eyelid before. It's weird. Maybe the novocaine spread because I was practically upside down in the chair. Seriously, I had to move my feet to see the clock. Feet up, head down, and novocaine pooling around my eyes. It feels weird.

And I still think dentists take a special class on understatement. When I was getting my wisdom teeth extracted, I learned that "You may feel some pressure." means "Two of us are going to try to yank your jaw out of your head. If you're going to flail, hold the armrests, please."

Today, I learned that "You'll feel a vibration." means "Iiiiiiiit's Jackhammer Time!!" Thankfully, it didn't last long. Not I just have to let the right side of my face return to normal. And I just found a fragment of tooth under my tongue.

That whole Pisces thing about being prone to foot injuries has been hard at work this week. I stubbed my toes no less than four times, once hard enough to feel two days later, and I have a chunk of something stuck in my heel. I haven't been able to find it to get it out, but U can feel it.

It's summertime, so I go barefoot as often as possible. I haven't stepped on any bees yet, thank goodness. That used to be a regular occurrence around here. The yard's mostly clover, and the honeybees do like clover. But the shortage of bees and me learning some caution have helped.

I just saw a deer and fawn go prancing by the window! Aww. Cuteness.

It is fawn season. The doe in our valley has twins, and there are at least two more deer families between here and the big road. One is in the hollow by the road on the way down the hill, and one is in the pasture with the fly-fishing creek.

Little spotty leggy cute things! Everywhere! And only one mowed up in the hayfield. That I know of.

Phew. I am a sweaty mess. I took Sophie Annabelle (who is in grave disfavor for growling at the nieces) on a woods-walk with me and she did very well for a dog terrified of everything. She got under the electric fence without getting either of us shocked (10 bonus points there) and only got the horrors once on our jaunt. I don't know what set her off but she was adamant that it was Something Which She Did NOT Want!

Usually I defer to dogs' judgment in the woods, because even the dopiest domesticated buffoon has keener senses than me on the best day of my life. Sophie, however, had a panic attack over my Mom's flipflops and just about choked herself on her own leash, so her judgment is suspect.

I meant to just walk her up the lane, but I could see the woods from the lane, and the wind was swishing all the branches and leaves and pollen were swirling all highlighted in the setting sun. It was like something out of Legend, and I couldn't resist it anymore than Lily could.

So we frolicked and flitted here and there. I was going to see if the Deadwoods were still where they had been, but the sky turned dark and the thunder started to rumble over the mountain and we decided getting our butts home was the better part of not being soaked or fried.

We got home before the storm hit, but I want to wait until the lightning settles down before I get in the shower. I don't know if you really can get electrocuted in the shower during a thunderstorm, but everyone in my family says you can, so I'm going to stay put for the time being. I may need a tick check before going to bed too...

It was awesome out today.

I went for a walk through the field. It was so warm and green out in the open. There was purple clover and orange butterflies all over the place. When I got close to the woods, I thought I could hear water, but it was wind in the trees. Stepping into the woods comes with a whoosh of cool breeze. In there, it was cool and green.

I was on the lookout for snakes, but my usual method of making as much noise as possible in the underbrush is still working. I did however flush three deer. It's fawn season so I scouted around to see if there were any little Bambis hiding in the tall grass. If there were, they were hidden pretty well because I couldn't find any. Alas. I did see one from the car the other day and it was so cute. All legs and ears and a confused expression.

I took some pictures which I'll post later.

The weather is PERFECT.

It's bright and sunny with a chilly breeze. Perfect woods-walking weather. I am so going outside as soon as I'm dressed.

Made it! And it went well! The handle of my suitcase got broken, but other than that everything when smooth as silk. Which is a big deal given my track record!

I want to thank everybody for their prayers and well wishes. This has been the least traumatic trip across I've had in a long while! Thank you!

We are at Phase 4, people! All systems are go and so far, they're going pretty well.

I'm in Portland for the next hour or so. I came here instead of Seattle because after the Christmas/ice storm mass stranding five months ago, I never wanted to see the Seattle airport again. Still don't. And Portland's airport has free internet connection! And a gift shop I haven't seen a million times. And their bookshop sells comic books!

Phase 5 will commence at midnight, upon arrival in Roanoke. It should be the final phase. Wish me luck! Or at least lack of disaster. I'll take it.