Keeping Track of that Weirdo

bane_6 @ 2009-11-08T00:35:00

2009-11-08T05:52:15Z

We had a great time at the Murder Mystery dinner at the library, but there was sad news on the answering machine when we got home. My uncle Richard had died and Dad was heading over to be with Grandma.

So, send up some good thoughts for us, if you would. It's been a long, sad time for the family watching him get sicker and sicker and even though his suffering is over, we still have some sad times to get through.

A fandom meme from rosehiptea

2009-11-07T19:03:14Z

Summarize 10 of your fandoms in one sentence, then see who on your friends list can guess each fandom.

1. ~~A stubborn girl trying to get home falls prey to a loved one and in love with a predator.~~ The 10th Kingdom

2. ~~Third time’s the charm, but the charm is scary and has bad teeth, a loud suit, and the stink of the grave.~~ Beetlejuice

3. ~~Costumes and good intentions aren’t enough to make a hero by themselves.~~ Watchmen

4. ~~An old man (or is he?) roams the world and haunts the hearth with his dog and a tale to tell.~~ The Storyteller

5. ~~An orphaned girl makes dangerous alliances to protect her family name.~~ Hellsing

6. ~~The last of her race searches for her own kind and falls in love with the son of the man who hunted her kind out.~~ The Last Unicorn

7. ~~A group of outsiders follow a psychic hunch to escape the destruction of their home.~~ Watership Down

8. ~~A restless soul returns for revenge and do-goodery.~~ The Crow

9. Two supernatural women compete for the love of a mortal man.

10. A misfit prince learns about war and his own lineage the hard way.

I have weird fandoms, but some of them should be guessable. I'll mark them off as revealed.

pardon my French

2009-11-06T09:58:11Z

Fic of the Day: Watchmen

I stayed up to watch Craig Ferguson because tomorrow is Inuit Day and thanks to my own Queen-among-Women Mother, we have the day off! (Mom was on the Calendar Committee) Usually I only get to watch Craig on Fridays, so color me tickled. And! He did a puppet thing with a French snail named Josh. I love the puppets. I cackle every time Wavey waves at me. And Josh's cute little Scottish-French accent only made the fact that they substituted 'ooh-la-la!" for the usual bleep that much funnier.

And since it was after midnight, I went ahead and did a 31_days fill. I probably shouldn't write this late at night so I'll go to bed now and try not to dream of hypnotic snails.

bane_6 @ 2009-11-05T11:09:00

2009-11-05T16:18:29Z

Fic of the Day:Watchmen

Part 2

2009-11-04T14:35:10Z

Fic of the Day: Original. Sequel to yesterday's.

bane_6 @ 2009-11-03T05:38:00

2009-11-03T14:40:41Z

Fic of the Day: Original The Biker story. I really need a name for it. He meets one of his fellow boarders under unusual circumstances.

And a bit of Ick for you. The two cats? They filled up the litterbox. In a NIGHT. I cleaned the box out and went to bed and next day, the cats were sprawled out in their usual lazy puddles.

“Ah,” they seemed to say. “Excellent. You’re awake. We have a little job for you, when you have a moment.”

My nose was way ahead of them.

“Phew!” I said. “Y’all sure are stinky today. I’ll just-WHAAAH!”

There wasn’t any loose litter in the box and two little happenings outside the box. No way just two cats could produce that much in just one night. I think they threw a party and didn’t tell me.

bane_6 @ 2009-11-02T06:29:00

2009-11-02T15:31:52Z

Fic of the Day:The Last Unicorn

bane_6 @ 2009-11-01T08:21:00

2009-11-01T17:46:19Z

Fic of the Day:Watchmen

For 31_days. It's a short one, and kind of sad, but I wanted to get back into the swing of it. I don't think I wrote for 31_daysat all last month, I had so much else to do. But Daylight Savings Time completely slipped my mind so I have an extra hour.

It's the morning after Halloween, and my email is full of Christmas shopping notices. They don't waste a minute, do they?

bane_6 @ 2009-10-31T22:53:00

2009-11-01T07:27:17Z

Phwah! I'm about to crash. And hopefully I won't have nightmares about doors. I watched Coraline with Jay and the vibrating door with the Other Mother screaming "Don't leave me!" always spooks me, and then I was channel-surfing and saw the door scene in Ginger Snaps, which set me up to stare at my own door all night. Unless I just go to sleep.

Had a pretty busy day. Did 8 loads of laundry (still need to dry the last one) made a pie, updated a fic, did the annual Halloweenie pic. And got all dressed up to hand out candy. I was a Nocker from the Changeling game, though I could probably be mistaken for vaguely steampunky beer wench too.

Tomorrow will also be a busy day. I have to finish my lesson plans and my last October project. I'm a little behind. I had hoped I would be done with it this week, but it still needs some work. I also owe siarwenevenstar a chapter and I'm going to try to do better with 31_days. I've been too busy for it. And I'm wayyyyy too busy for NaNoWriMo, as much as I would love to do that eventually. Sigh.

Watching an investigation of the Beast of Gévaudan case is nowhere near as scary as Ginger Snaps, but sure has some graphic re-enactments. Yuck. I'm going to bed.

Writer's Block: Would you talk to the dead? (Suess-style)

2009-10-31T08:12:06Z

Have you ever participated in a seance? If not, would you consider it? What spirit would you summon and what question would you ask them? Do you believe we can get messages from the dead?

View 666 Answers

I have not, shall not call up a ghost.
Not with jam, not with toast.
I do not summon here or there,
I do not summon anywhere!
No afterlife spoilers please,
I'll beg on my hands, I'll beg on my knees.
I get enough spooks without seeking them out
No seances here! I insist and shout.
I don't want to hear what the passed on have said.
I don't like to hear from the talkative dead.

Thank you

formal dress optional

2009-10-25T07:40:47Z

Whew! Back from Rocky Horror Picture Show night. I wasn't brave enough to go in just my charming underclothes, but I did wrap up in a red sheet and squeal "Dr. Scott!" where appropriate.

Riff Raff is still the cutest. I still know all the songs. Pumpkin whip is really good on gingersnap cookies. That is all.

Memories of Temp Jobs Past

2009-10-17T02:58:24Z

I've noticed some commotion about Ralph Lauren's unrealistic view of women in the news and while it may be an insult to femininity everywhere, it is not the reason I hope there's a special seat in a very warm room waiting for him.

Y'see, a few years ago I lived in North Carolina, and the bottom just fell out of the economy and there were massive layoffs and business closings and all that good stuff. The first time I was laid off, I found a new job fairly quickly. Then they had layoffs and I was let go again. And so on, and so on, for two years until I landed a temp position in the Ralph Lauren Polo distribution center in Greensboro.

Only the fact that it was a temp position kept me from losing my mind. It was a hot, dirty, concrete warehouse with various levels, just like hell. They searched you when you went in and you weren't allowed to have any kind of loose clothing or purse or bag that wasn't transparent so that you couldn't make off with any of the precious merchandise. I couldn't help but be offended.

My first job was in tagging. That's where you stand by a conveyor belt and wait for a box to come to you and when it does, it is completely filthy and has big' Shipped from Some Exotic Place Where the Bugs Eat You Alive' stamps all over it. You cut it open and unpack about a million and three ittybitty tiny t-shirts in plastic bags (praying that you won't also unpack any ginormous flesh-eating insect as well). You tear those bags open, remove the tag that says $35 and replace them tags that say $75. $75 for a shirt the size of a hanky?? In this economy?? I thought. He must be out of his mind. That was nauseating enough by itself.

Then we had a tornado drill. The place we, valued temporary work force that we are, were to stand? Was between a massive electronic switchbox (in a puddle of water, of all things) and a gigantic gas valve hung with Flammable signs. Oh, and a wall of stacked boxes from Malaysia. I'll take my chances with the tornado, thanks. I did that for about a month.

Then, I was sent to packing. We were given a little bar code reader thingie called an RF or something, a cart, and sent to run willy-nilly all over level 2 and 3 to fill orders. The RF tells you what number product and how many, so you track it down and load up the box, tape it up and put it on a new conveyor belt that takes it to shipping. This is where it got bad.

The air conditioners broke. They told us to drink lots of water and not lock our knees. Then, they removed the water fountains. As in, took them clean off the wall. The skittering about on concrete floors started to make itself felt in all the places my legs bend. When my limp became noticeable they gave me an ace bandage to wrap around my feet. And we had hour long meetings about why we weren't getting enough done. And when there was a power outage we couldn't leave the building for fear that one of us might be smuggling out merchandise, so we had to sit in the dark for 45 minutes until the power came back on.

And all the while this went on? Beaming down on us like an especially prissy saint? Several gigantic photos of Mr. Lauren himself, coated, cravated, here with a yacht, there with some sort of vintage car, there on a balcony overlooking some ocean, huge looming photographs, bigger than my bed. Maybe they were just there until the stained glass versions arrived from Rome. Maybe I'm just bitter wageslave, but having to look at him smirking and larger than life through the heat mirages and foot pain while management kept a close watch to make sure we didn't make off with any obscenely overpriced fashioncrap? THAT'S the reason I despise and boycott all Ralph Lauren products. Bleagh.

Happy Leif Ericson Day

2009-10-10T07:36:41Z

Every time I fly, I think about the kindle. Normally, I love real, tangible books that smell like the forests they came from, as if stories grew on trees. I'm a book fiend. I love the bookstore smell, the rustle of pages, the different fonts on different pages, all the sensory benefits to a physical book. In a pinch, they can also be used as self-defense against large bugs and small mammals, but it had better be coming at you with poisonous mandibles and quoting the Necronomicon if you use one of my precious tomes. ( Not afraid of bugs. Not enough to risk ichor stains on beloved books anyway.)

My point is that a book is a full sensory experience and my main beef with the kindle is that you lose that. However, traveling by air makes me reconsider, especially in the weenie airplane I traveled in today. It was a a Cessna Propeller plane, and just ittybitty. Lugging a backpack holding my weight in books into a plane the size of a large couch makes me reconsider the benefits of a kindle. Assuming the weird-ass books I like/love/need are available on a kindle, I could frolic in and out of planes with my hands free and standing upright. If there was a way you could draw on one, say a kindle sketchbook, it would be the perfect travel toy for me. Cuz I fly a lot and for a long way.

And I bet I could still stun a Goliath Birdeater with it if he got uppity.

October is off to a grim start.

2009-10-05T04:19:37Z

It's just one thing after another...

A woman has gone missing out on the tundra, so search and rescue is out there trying to find her. She's been gone since Friday. And back home, my aunt may or may not still be with us. I haven't heard either way. I said before that these things happen in threes, but this puts us up to five. Six if you count both the little girls that drowned.

give me toe pain over heart pain any day

2009-10-04T07:01:33Z

I was just settling in to bed when a sound came from the dark house outside my room.

It was a scrabbling sound, of claws on wood, as if some undead creature that no longer remembered that there were such things as doorbells wanted very much to tear its way in and eat my brain*. That sound had startled me out of half-sleep fog more than once, so when I heard it wide awake, I was more annoyed than spooked.

I got up and walked out into the dark hall. Hearing me coming, my she-cat trotted out and did her very best to look as if the last thing in the world on her mind was mauling the bathroom doorjam to splinters while people were trying to sleep.

"Nice try," I said. "But you know better." She looked adorable. "Yeah, you."

Then, her brother, who was laying in wait in the packing material in an Uncommon Goods box pounced. I admit it startled me too. Facehuggers have nothing on the boy. He appeared in midair right in front of his sister, who bolted. Right across my bare foot.

I'd have to see it slow motion to be sure, but I'm fairly certain she had every claw on every foot flailing like a panicked blender as she tore across my flesh and into the room behind me. It took about a second and a half and when the smoke cleared. I was still standing there, bleeding from four gashes across my foot, while the boy danced happily. That had worked way better than he planned.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked him, holding up my bleeding foot. He went all wide-eyed and then tore off again to his next exploit, tail all poofed up. I limped to the bathroom for a dousing in alcohol and some carefully arranged band-aids.

True story. And not as painful as the other one about me having to sing with the K4 class and
staff at the double funeral for the two little girls that drowned.

*Hope the zombies never catch on to doorbells. That would probably work a few times.

Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20

2009-10-02T06:03:33Z

So, it's past my bedtime and I'm waiting for UPS because they called all perky about how they had driven right by and somehow missed the ginormous green duplex. They're on the other side of town now, but they'll be back! I roll my eyes because the whole town is only a couple miles across anyway. While I wait, crankily, I'll write this.

The library has Vol. 14 of the Onion Ad Nauseam. The only part I read were the horoscopes, and even then, only my own. Maybe I’m desperate for a laugh these days, but here’s a few of my favorites.

Don’t bother lying to the police when they pull you over next Friday. They’ll have already figured out that the tank was stolen.

Your life story is the kind of thing people pay good money to see, which isn’t good when you think about what bloodthirsty bastards people are.

The world may end “not with a bang but a whimper,” but the end of your world will have plenty of both.

You establish a destructive pattern of behavior this week when you discover how much fun it is to destroy things.

No matter how hard you try, nothing you ever do or achieve will please Alec Baldwin.

Oh, and be careful of that tricky first step. It isn’t there.

And my personal favorite:

A Japanese fishing boat will catch you off the Philippine coast this week, astonishing scientists who thought you’d been extinct since the Pleistocene era.

solemnest of industries

2009-09-30T02:36:40Z

Saddest day at work ever.

Two four year olds drowned in the lagoon yesterday. They were cousins and in the same class. They were sledding about a block or two from where they lived. They went down the hill and onto the ice and fell through. Someone saw the sled and the hole in the ice and got their binoculars. They saw something floating and called 911.

One girl was unresponsive, but the other had some life signs, but neither could be revived. The whole preschool staff went to the house today to offer condolences. If anything is more sad than a family sobbing the names of their dead children while clutching their last little preschool assignments, I don’t want to know about it. I have hugged many people that I don’t know today, but I do know that grief is one of those things you can’t do anything about but be there.

The subject is a line from an Emily Dickinson poem. It's a sure indication I'm upset when I start looking up Dickinson. There was a sign up that said 'Thin Ice', but they were four years old! Still learning the alphabet. The first thing you want to do is scream "Who was watching them?" but it's such a small town that everybody pretty much watches everybody, and these two managed to find a moment when no one was around, or going by, and slide just a little too far.

So it's about as sad as it can be, with the bodies coming back tonight, and another family gathering tomorrow. I'm just glad to be home!

Words of Wisdom: Mike Nelson

2009-09-28T05:37:16Z

'As grand and glorious as love is, it is not without its perils. Anyone who has felt the cruel pangs of rejection knows that love is best approached cautiously, like one would approach an angry, cornered brush-tailed possum. Yes, before throwing yourself into a relationship, it’s wise to buy a sturdy pair of leather gloves and to be extra careful of love’s front claws and rows of needle-sharp teeth. If possible, use a partner to distract love and very quickly move in behind it, grasp its prehensile tail (carefully!), pop it into a canvas bag, and, quick as you can, yank closed the drawstring- metaphorically speaking.' -Love Sick

I can't resist possum-related words of wisdom. Or egg sandwiches.

bane_6 @ 2009-09-26T00:13:00

2009-09-26T08:26:27Z

More of the Biker fic I also posted the last bit of a cracky but fun Watchmen in Oz fic.

I've stayed up late enough that I'm hungry again. That can't end well.

take care of your name

2009-09-25T03:54:17Z

I wrote something that didn't have Watchmen or werewolves in it! I'm not bragging, it's just a novelty these days. Spirited Away fic over at 31_days.

must watch more of.... the tv

2009-09-24T19:24:55Z

I just realized, I don't have a show.

People at work, and on blogs, and on emails, all mention what happened on their show. I don't really have one. I watch what happens to be on, on the Discovery or Travel channels, usually, occasionally finding a bad movie on SyFy (I hated just typing that) or a good one on AMC. I watched the last half of Bad News Bears there the other day.

And I do like The Daily Show, and I'll click over to Good Eats or Dirty Jobs if I see they're on (imagine if those shows combined...) and on Fridays when I can stay up late enough, I usually watch Craig Ferguson.

But I don't have a one I say "Ooh! It's Thursday and that means (insert show name) is on tonight! Can't wait to see what happens this week!"

Which means I have to stand and raise an eyebrow at many conversations because I have nothing to share. You can only say "I watched Watchmen again last night." so many times. Though I did shake it up with some "Watched Ghost rider again and oooh, Sam Elliott." last week.

It'll probably be a good thing when my classload starts weighing down....

bane_6 @ 2009-09-21T21:34:00

2009-09-22T05:38:14Z

Phew! I'm an auntie! This time to a nephew! The first one so far. Ever!

I was the only not there, so I feel a little bad about that, but I am still all giddy.

not in front of the kids

2009-09-20T17:17:21Z

I had a very chaotic, crowded dream last night. I remember that my folks' house in WV was overrun with relatives and my own preschool students. There was also a vampire who was attracted to the color red and wet clothes, so I had to confront him twice bringing kids from their bath time. I think I did let him bite me eventually since he was so polite about it, and I didn't want him feeding on the children.

It wasn't especially scary or sexy. More of a "Madam, if I could impose on you for just a moment? Please?" kind of thing. And here's a sharpie doodle.

break em in early

2009-09-19T05:37:34Z

So, we took the little guys on their first field trip today. We went down to the beach to let them beachcomb a little. They found rocks and shells, feathers and driftwood, and a few stranded sea weeds. It was windy and cold and the gray waves were crashing and we had police escort in case of bears. It was weird and stressful, but I think they enjoyed it. A few of the grownups mentioned that is was a shame there wasn't more stuff for them to dig up. Parents wanted to go out ahead of time, to plant things for them to find.

It wasn't until later that I found this.

Now, I'm just glad that we didn't stumble on that beach. Preschool is too early for that kind of trauma, though it might deaden the pain that comes in 4th or 5th grade when the reading list turns torturous. (Where the Red Fern Grows, Bridge to Terabithia, Diary of Ann Frank, The Yearling, Taste of Blackberries, Red Pony, etc.)

no guarantees for tomorrow

2009-09-16T01:50:28Z

My laptop is roughly 3 years old. Still trucking along despite the loss of a shift key and that thing that sticks out the side of it and I don't know what that's for, but it doesn't seem to cause the poor thing any pain and it doesn't inconvenience me, so I don't give it much thought.

Well, it has started to act a little weird and links from AIM freeze the poor darlin' up tight, and the occasional pop-up about clicking here for a free antivirus scan has started showing up, which all adds up things being amiss down deep in 'Puterland. So I tried to update my security program, which went all kinds of crazy on me and called me names and made me mad, so I went straight out and bought a new program and loaded it all up.

Burned straight through all that junk, and restarted itself, and when it came back on... It wanted me to log back in. I have never logged on in the three years that I've had this computer. But I knew what password I usually use so I tried it. And every variation of it with no success and no hint.

So I dragged out my work laptop and made it find out what to do for me. The solution seemed to be to restart and punch F8 until it opened in safe mode and then go tinkering from there. So I did. And it worked, which means there will be no reports of madness and cruelty towards technology for at least one more day.

And in other news, I have to stop watching Planet Earth so late at night. Did you know there were meter-wide spider crabs at the bottom of the ocean? Feasting on the bones of whatever sinks to the bottom? Growing even huger and wider on a steady diet of death down in the black depths of the sea, where everything that horrifies me seems to come from. Ol' H.P. may have been on to something.